Sunday, September 03, 2006
[*u.NpRed.iCtabL.e*] ...i feel like i'm going through late puberty. but i guess it's stress. one moment i'm so happy, the next i feel like crap. why do i feel this way? i'd rather have a mundane happy life then go through all this mix of feelings that is currently driving me crazy. i feel that life is so tough, so tiring, so empty at times. i guess it's the JC life. i must find my joy through all these things. only then, will i be able to overcome all the trials of a JC life.
i should be happy with my life. but i feel so dry now, like i'm wondering in a desert. i have my friends, my family, but what i'm going through , i do not know how to put it into words. how am i to tell them when i do not know how to say it, how to write it, what i'm feeling exactly. i feel so lost, but i need to just keep my focus, for now, on my promos. conquer it and do well in it. i know i can, but i must have faith in God and myself. push myself beyond my own limit.
i miss all the times spent with my friends just crapping the whole day. JC is really very tiring. i really wonder why God lead me to this path when i feel that i'm not up for it. but you know, there's something that is true.
where God leads me, there He'll be.
and it's true. He's there with me in CJC. all the time. He provided me a spiritual partner. He's watching over me every step of the way. so i must do my best for Him, even in my promos, to bring glory to Him with my results. i must do that with His strength and not mine. yup.
okies. that's about it for now. i'll strive for the best and do my very best. God, please grant me all that i need to have the discipline to study and do well for promos, i really need you now. thanks for loving me so much. amen.
love,
cheryn ...
posted at 9/03/2006 08:47:00 pm
